Sandra Garritano: Artist

As an older woman, you become invisible in so many situations. When I was a young woman of 17, men looked at me. I always thought it was because I was so tall and awkward and gangly. I didn’t like it. Now, when I walk past a man my age, they don’t even know that I’m in the space. I feel it in my psyche. As a result I’ve stopped presenting. So many of my friends say I don’t do my makeup any more. It’s about feeling comfortable.

When I retired from my work as an art teacher, I experienced this sense of elation. But I did stop and ask, “What was it all about?” Now, my focus is on being a happy, productive human being who’s supportive of my daughter and loves her grandchildren. As I’ve gotten older, I enjoy my own company – when I was younger, I was always scratching to make sure every space in my life was full.

I’ve also learned the importance of being a good friend. One of my best friends is a man and he’s a champion of me and my art practice – he’s the first to encourage me and helps me hang my shows. [In the past] relationships with men seemed like they had to be about sex but, once I’ve established that this isn’t what it’s about, men relax. Maybe they dream that it might happen but for the most part it feels much easier.

I still think of myself as a sexual being. When we age, our teeth and skin dull and our eyes maybe don’t sparkle like they used to. But to me, sensuality is about trying to take care of yourself, be healthy, vibrant, involved, compassionate, grateful and whole. When I’m in a new group of people, being interesting is the real aphrodisiac. When men of all ages are engaged in conversation, [they are attracted] yet they wouldn’t notice if I walked right past them. I think they find me sensual because I’m colourful and have lots of layers.