It is International Woman’s Day on the 8th March, I need to do something valuable. I thought I would send some thoughts to younger women and it would be based on What Advice Would I Give My Younger Self?

Maybe send this to a daughter, grand-daughter, daughter-in-law…..step-daughter?

If I could go back in time, I’d hug my younger self and give her enough information to empower her to live a fuller life. Even though life is always a work-in-progress, and I will learn more in the future than I know now, this is what I would tell younger me if I could go back in time —

1. Have a ton of confidence in that person in the mirror
That person in the mirror, you, learn to love that person. Accept but don’t fixate on your flaws. You’re more than your flaws. Flaws are temporary. It’s what you make of your limitations that counts. Love yourself. As much as it is easy to hate yourself for everything that you want to be but can never dream of being because you hate yourself. The fact that you can dream of it, means you can get there.

2. Take up a form of exercise
You’ll find that your calmest, thinking straight moments come to you when you sprint or lift weights. You’ll feel happy about the effort you’re putting in. You’ll be grateful for getting in that exercise on a shit day. You don’t know it yet, but that movie you watched during your vacation, Legally Blonde? Yeah, Elle Woods was right when she said, “Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.” They’re important for your overall well-being.

3. Invest your time in people who want to see you do better
Invest in finding and building your tribe. Be careful about the kind of people you let in. You will let in some emotionally abusive people. Don’t let that scare you. You’ll have a far wider circle of friends whom you will cheer on and who will cheer you on. Choose well. It’s true when they say, ‘Your vibe attracts your tribe’. Your energy will draw the same kind of energy. If you hate yourself, you will find people who will find a reason not to like you, or focus on your flaws, probably because they hate themselves. Instead, choose people who want to grow and are happy to see you grow too. Choose people who give you a boost rather than those that’ll pull you down.

4. Don’t judge.
Like it or not, you will make some questionable life choices. We all do. You will find support even then. Never forget that. And try not to judge others’ for their life choices. Of course, be the best friend you can possibly be to another. Give them the right advice, even if it isn’t the most popular advice. Do the best that you can.

5. Go with your gut when making decisions
You could be wrong of course, but chances are, you’ll be more right than wrong about things when you go with your gut. Your first impulse is usually always right. Trust your gut more often and it’ll into your most reliable compass.

6. Read more than you’re currently reading. Read better books.
Read more. A lot more. I know you pride yourself on being a voracious reader but expand the breadth of your scope. Read up on feminism. Read poetry. Read humour, it’s your strongest suit. Read the stories that are not so comfortable. It’s not about understanding reality like your mother would say, but it really is true that the characters that go through the worst circumstances serve as our biggest inspiration.

7. Don’t think of yourself as secondary to men. You’re as much an alpha as a man. Own it.
You will meet men and women who will make you feel as though you’re doing well but it’s okay because it’s still second best to a man. In those moments, remember that a man didn’t bring you to where you are. A man won’t show you the way when you’re stuck. You will figure it out on your own. You will do the best you can in the circumstances you’re in. You will power through and make sure you come out on top. The praise that might come your way is not because a man chooses to let you have that. It’s not like if a man was in your place, he’d have done it any better. You bring your own perspective — to the life you live and to the work you do. Never forget or belittle your contribution to your own life and the lives of others.

8. Question authority
You’ll learn this even later on in life. Authority is when you give someone else the permission to have power over you. Only you have power over you. If you’ve given someone else the power to decide what you wear, what you do, how you spend your weekends, how long you spend at work, take back that power. Learn to ask why. Learn to counter. Learn to hustle for your own time. There’s only a finite amount of time that you have. Learn to take it back because there will be a line of people wanting your time and you will need to prioritise who and what you devote your time to. Learn to take back the power you might give someone else. Let you and your gut be the guiding force in your life because allowing someone else to do so will only set you up for disappointment.

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